I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
