you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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