Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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