I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
