you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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