Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
