I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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