Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
