I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
