Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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