we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
