I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
