Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
