Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
