dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize