He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
