the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
