Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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