Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
