I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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