is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Bring me that man meat
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
