your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i think i have two assholes
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
