Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
