someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
