I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
