She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
