somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
