I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
