I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
