And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
