Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
