It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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