the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
