nut hugger
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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