I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
