its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
