I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
