Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
