Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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