I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
