im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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