Michael Bay diarrhea
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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