Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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