addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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