It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
