Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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