I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
