i just wanna soil my oats bro
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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