ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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