kristin has been a bad kristin
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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