I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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