Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
are you so shy because you have an std?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
