Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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