The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
