just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
